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Fri, 09 Jun 2006 13:48:05 GMT

First of all, I would like to say a big thank you to all of those who helped make my time back in the US such a good time. I must give them total credit for putting up with me as I struggled mightily to adapt to a culture I have known my entire life. It really was hard. So thanks to all of those who took me out to dinner, were patient with me when the number of items on the menu completely blew my mind, and then listened to me talk about Togo for what seemed like my entire trip.

During my trip, I kept a notebook handy and jotted down some of the things that I found most striking, as I seem to like to do these days. Here are a few of the things I observed/felt about my time.

First of all, I am now terrified of traffic. During my stay in Arlington, I headed out on the town for a stroll, while also looking for a payphone. Let it be known that payphones are apparently a thing of the past. I walked for approximately 2 hours and didn’t see a single one. To my chagrin, the following day I found one a single block away from where I was staying, but I digress. So out among the sights and sounds of Arlington, VA I headed. Little did I know the perils I was about to face. To avoid further embarrassment, I am just going to go ahead and say it, I couldn’t cross streets. The amount of traffic and the speed of these out-of-control vehicles bewildered me. I found myself standing at intersection after intersection, full of hesitation while everyone else in the world whizzed past me. I truly wished someone would just take my hand and walk me across. And you can bet the bank that I did not disrespect those flashing hand signals. In fact, I think I actually stopped in my tracks in the middle of the road when it went from the walk signal to flashing hand, and then scampered back to the side where I came from. I can only imagine what the people around me were thinking.

This leads me to another thing I noted. Life in the United States is ridiculously hurried and planned. I am certain I would never have said this two years ago. But now after two years in Togo, I was frustrated/stressed/exhausted/disgusted/saddened by what I saw going on around me. Granted, life in Togo does crawl on at a snail’s pace, most likely very much aided by the fact that so little seems to ever chance here anyway, but I really didn’t remember life in the US to be like that. I don’t really know where I am going with this point so I will move on.

Perhaps as a result of the previous point, I had a lot of trouble relaxing. Seeing so many people do so many things so very quickly made me feel like I too should be doing at least something more than sitting on the couch. I think that a part of this may have been my specific situation. I was staying in Arlington with one of my friends from the PhD program. Had I not left to go to the Peace Corps, I would have been ready to enter my 5^th and final year of grad school, the same as many of the friends I was hanging out with. I had a lot of trouble adjusting to being in a place where I used to have a life, very similar to the lives of those I was with, and now I had absolutely nothing there. Meanwhile, the lives of all my friends were continuing on at rocket speed. They were busy with jobs, school, and personal lives while I was . . . I guess that is one of the most difficult parts of adjustment. Since we as volunteers are so far out of contact with any life we have ever known, it is very easy to think that everything will simply be as it was when you return. Kind of a kick to the stomach when it isn’t.

Frankly, I couldn’t figure out why no one was staring at me in the United States. Though I consciously knew that it wouldn’t happen in the US, I really was caught off guard by this turn of events. As I was walking down the street, I couldn’t understand why all the people passing by in cars and bikes weren’t turning to stare at me. Apparently, even with my new headband hairstyle, I just wasn’t all that interesting to them. It definitely took some getting used to.

I, on the other hand, kept doing double takes when I saw white people. For example, I saw a girl biking across an intersection and stared after her wondering what she was doing here. At this point I realized I was an idiot and that almost everyone else around me was white and yet this occurred over and over again during my trip.

Who knew it could be light at 8 pm??? Well apparently I didn’t get that memo because time after time, I was in disbelief it was not 6 o’clock when the sun was setting. I guess that is what 2 years living next to the equator will do to you.

Sadly, in my time wandering around when I had no one to hang out with because everyone was busying having lives (I know I keep coming back to this, but it was so unsettling), I found America to be very impersonal. And I know that it is not the case all the time, but as all these people kept whizzing past me in their cars with the windows shut tight against the "heat," I couldn’t help but feel like they were living in a shell. Again, I am sure this is a relativity thing after living in a village where most everyone knows if I left for as much as one day. But I missed the chatting with people as I go into town and the sense of community that I have here.

So that was the there, and this is the here. I am back in my village and have been here for about a week. My observations on returning were this.

It felt great to be home. And as strange as it feels to write or say, that is what this place has become to me now. I am comfortable here, more comfortable than I was walking around the streets of Arlington. Riding around town and seeing the huge smiles on the faces of people when they see that I have made it back just makes my day or week or maybe year. One thing I have noticed is that I genuinely like some of these people. I know I have talked many times about the lack of friendships on deeper levels, but I realized on returning just how much I care about some people here. It was great to see them and will be hard to leave them in such a short amount of time.

Other things I found noteworthy were:

Remembering to wipe all the dust off my feet before getting into bed. I had gotten out of that habit.
Returning to the moon cycle. It is odd but makes quite a bit of sense that while here I constantly know where the moon is in its cycle. When that fact lets you know if you need to hurry home before darkness falls completely and whether you will need to candle to shower by, you pay attention.
I gained 15 pounds in my 2 ½ weeks in the US and every single person in my village wants to be the first to tell me. To them, to be fat is a status symbol and it represents how much money you have to eat that much. To them, it just proves how amazing and rich and good the United States are. I fight this notion. Why, I don’t know. I guess I don’t want to be from the place that has everything; I don’t want to be so privileged while they are so not. But the weight is melting away as I knew it would. I would guess I have already lost 10 pounds.
Washer and dryers are amazing. Most of you probably don’t realize just how good clothes smell when they come out of these modern marvels. I wore a freshly laundered shirt out one evening while at home and just kept sniffing myself. It smelling sooo good. I didn’t think it probable, but I was ready for people to begin coming up to me to tell me how nice I smelled. Who needs cologne when you have Tide? On a side note, no one mentioned how swell I smelled.

Let me begin to finish by saying I LOVE the experience I am having here. I know I may not paint the prettiest picture of it sometimes, but I would not trade it for anything. Following my travels, I think I understand one of the things I appreciate the most – the freedom. I don’t know how to explain this without it coming out wrong. But I do what I want to do. I make my schedule. I work on projects of my choosing. I answer to me. And perhaps some of you are thinking how easy it would be to abuse this system and you are right, and it does happen is cases. But when it works, it is a beautiful thing. I wish I could explain it better but perhaps it is something one just has to experience.

Mama I'm comin home!

Sat, 13 May 2006 09:32:31 GMT

My flight is tonight. Tomorrow I will be in the United States of America. My mind is fatigued by all that this entails. But for now I am just going to focus on the fact that they are going to show me relatively new movies on the plane - yippee. And then after 20 short hours, I will be touching down on american soil. I am sitting here staring at the computer and realizing that words just aren't going to do justice to all that is going on in my head. See you all soon.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 11:31:08 GMT

The countdown is on; only 22 days until I will be in the United States. The fun part of this is that I have now actually started to look forward to the trip. To clarify, it is not that I was dreading the trip before, but more that it hadn’t really hit me that I was actually going. A large part of that is the timing of the trip. Directly beforehand is my Close of Service conference in Lome. All of the remaining members of our group that arrived together in June 2004 (16 out of 21) will reunite and spend 3 days together in a nice hotel. The conference is run by Peace Corps and during it we will give feedback on our service, discuss possible improvements to Peace Corps Togo, and have sessions on how to prepare for life after Peace Corps. Because this will be the three days leading up to my trip home, most of my excitement had been focused on this conference. However, after receiving numerous emails from friends and family I will see on my trip, I am starting to get really excited about coming back. I think the thing that is most stuck in my mind right now is baseball. I recently discovered that it is baseball season back in the US. My slow-moving mind eventually used this discovery to deduce that I can go to a baseball game while I am home. All kidding aside, I am like an 8-year-old again. I am so giddy at the thought of sitting in the bleachers for a day game, having some nachos, and hearing the crack of the bat that I nearly wet myself every time I think about it. So between a ton of time with friends and family, my brother’s wedding, and a little American culture (that I didn’t even know I missed), US here I come!

But for the moment, I am here in Togo and the work continues. And by continuing, I mean flying at the speed of light! The HOSPITAL PROJECT, to which many of you amazing people so generously donated, is moving along spectacularly. I almost feel like it is too good and that at some point this house of cards that could not possibly be identified as Togolese work is going to come crashing down. But knock on wood and the progress continues. As I write this, the roofing should be finishing up with only the masonry left to complete before the entire first segment of the project is done. The most exciting part of this is that we beat the rain. We have had a few storms on the horizon in the last couple weeks but thankfully they have blown over and we now have a fully functional roof. The community seems to be very impressed with the work and the people at the hospital have been such a pleasure to work with. I think my favorite part is that the contract is working. The foreman has been all over his workers and even me to make sure all materials are on site so that they can finish the project before their deadline. We have not seen a single incident of stealing and people actually seem to be going out of their way to be accountable for every little thing. At this pace, the construction team is going to earn their bonus with more than a week to spare. We are also currently under budget, which will leave us more money to spend for the second stage of the project – fixing up the interior. In fact, the planning for the second stage will be one of the most important things I need to get done before leaving on my trip. The hospital staff has earning my confidence and the project should be able to continue under their guidance while I am away.

I think we are planning on having a small ceremony in the next couple weeks too. This is a very Togolese thing to do, as people love to get dressed up for anything that can necessitate pomp and circumstance and long-winded speeches. Most of the time I find these ceremonies to be a lot of hot air and too often, a waste of funds. However, this time I am actually going to push to have the ceremony. My main reason is that I want to make an example of how this project has been run and publicly thank those people in the community that have gone out of their way to help the community without looking to personally benefit. I witness this trait too rarely and I want to shout these peoples’ names from the rooftop. A second major objective is to show the community just what they are capable of doing. They have raised a lot of money for this project and I want them to realize that up until this point, they have paid for nearly 50% of everything done. Essentially, with a little more effort, they could have roofed this building without outside aide. For a community that feels they are too poor to do anything for themselves, I hope that this can be a wakeup call to show them they have the power to act on their own. Finally, I want to make a point of how a well-managed project benefits everyone in the end. As I said before, we are under budget and no one has stolen from the project. The result of this is that we now have a larger portion of the money left over to work on the second stage of the project and we will be able to do some extra things we had not projected. If only a few people in the crowd understand these things, it will be worth it to me.

I finally found a situation in which I appreciate my poor French vocabulary: talking about death. I have never been comfortable talking about death, not so much in that the subject makes me uncomfortable, but that I just don’t know what to say to make the other person feel better or what is appropriate. I would guess that many of you have similar feelings. However, when you can only say so many things, your choices become much more limited. And I guess because I can only say those certain things like I’m sorry and offering my condolences, I don’t feel as tongue-tied and inept as I do in English. All of this is probably aided by the fact that death is treated in a much more matter-of-fact manner here. The death of my neighbor’s wife’s father got me thinking about this. She told me he had died the night before, I said I was sorry and then she continued on with asking about what work I was doing that day. Just like that.

Animals. I feel I may have lost my sentimentality toward them being in this country. Don’t get me wrong, I still love them and plan to have many pets in the future but in a country like this you begin to see them in a more utilitarian light. Dogs are used to guard the house, cats catch mice and if they die then you get a new one. They are also food in a place where protein is very scarce. I will never support how brutally they treat their animals here but sometimes I wonder if the American culture has gone a little overboard with pets. For example, when I think of how much money we spend on our pets in the US and then realize what that money could do here, it kind of makes me sick. Author’s note: it should be noted that I have eaten dog, and have plans to try cat while still having one of each as pets.

Looking back on this weblogue, I noticed I never talked about the points of interest I found in Morocco. I will give an abbreviated version since it has been 4 months since I traveled there. However, some of them will again be relevant in my upcoming trip to the states. My first major point was how much I loved my anonymity. Perhaps I did touch on this point, but it is well worth hitting on again as I am going to truly enjoy it in the United States as well. Here in Togo, you never have that feeling. You are always at the very least a yovo, or white person. That never leaves you and no matter how well your community knows you, it is still there. The children still yell out every time you pass. One can never avoid the extra attention here. Without always realizing, it drains you. I felt so free in Morocco. Even though I was still marked as a tourist, for the most part I was able to do as I pleased without eyes constantly following me. Amongst volunteers, we joke that we know what it is like to be a celebrity. Though I am sure there are nuances, it really is like living in that celebrity fish bowl. Though I will miss some of the benefits accorded to me because of being the star of the show, it will be beautiful to be just another fish in the sea.

Perhaps one reason things were so free for me in Morocco was because everyone thought I was Moroccan. At the very least, they insisted that I must have at least one Arab parent. I finally just invented a story about what village my father was from. In my opinion, I still look the same but at least in this part of the world, I look Arab.

We were in Morocco for 18 days. We went to McDonalds 7 times. Sick-I know. For me it was the McFlurrys that kept me coming back. I just love ice cream and haven’t had it in so long. For Alicia, my traveling companion, it was the cheeseburgers. I think that makes her sicker than me, right???

We spent our New Year’s Eve in a resort town called Agadir, located on the coast in southern Morocco. Overlooking the water in an English pub in Morocco, it was a very unique New Year’s experience. However, Alicia and I both agreed that at that moment we really missed being with Americans. The pub was fun and packed with people from all over the globe, but people pretty much stayed to themselves. At that moment, I wanted the American everybody-hug-everybody-and-party-together atmosphere. Sometimes I miss home for the strangest reasons.

To close for today, I will relate my most recent trip in to Kara on Wednesday evening. I had planned on coming into my regional capital on Thursday morning, as there is only transport out of village every morning. But with luck on my side, it turned out the ambulance was going that afternoon. By luck, I mean that a 13-year-old girl has appendicitis and her family had come up with enough money to pay the ambulance to take her to Kara, the only place she could have the surgery to save her life. I guess if they didn’t come up the money she would have died in Guerin-Kouka. The other strange part of this story is that Guerin-Kouka has a working ambulance. In fact, it is a brand new Hyundai ambulance, sirens, lights and all. The story goes that about a year ago, a family member of someone important got sick in Kouka and there was no ambulance to take him to Kara. Shortly thereafter the Ministry of Health gave the hospital this brand new ambulance. This is the same ministry that has not been able to put a roof on a horribly leaking hospital for the past decade. I love politics. So as I said, luck was on my side and I was off to Kara with the driver, who is a friend of mine, and the moaning girl in the back. The driver is a really fun guy so I decided to share some of my music with him to see what he thought of it. He was really excited at the prospect and had the radio turned all the way up. With the radio all the way up, you couldn’t even hear the moaning girl in the back. (jeez, it is amazing how desensitized you get to suffering in this country) But anyway, in the end, I wish the trip had been longer just to hear more of his observations. My mp3 player was on random and a Fatboy Slim song came on. Zackary, the driver, was absolutely convinced it was James Brown. He said it was good for the kids with all the noises in it. An Elvis song came on and he decided that it was good music for the discotheque. My favorite observation was given to both a Blessed Union of Souls and John Mayer song. He said that it was really good music if you were two, followed by a wink and a nudge in the ribs. We had a good laugh but when I started to change it to the next song he demanded I let the song finish. I protested that we weren’t two, but rather 10 in the ambulance. He agreed but decided it was good music for a trip nonetheless. Zackary has also challenged me to a dancing contest that will be held on May 1^st. Should be a blast. Until next time, think about why exactly you like the United States. Then make it a point to enjoy it.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Sat, 08 Apr 2006 09:50:47 GMT

So here is the latest of my life here in Togo:

Hospital project

Thanks again to all of you that contributed or spread the word about this project. I am elated to report that the construction began on Monday the 3^rd of April and is projected to be completed by the 4^th of May. I have been very pleased with all of the Togolese counterparts with whom I have been working. So far, everyone has been living up to their ends of the bargain and the work is going at a rapid pace. As expected here, we have had to make some alterations as we go but things have come out without a wrinkle. I am trying to photograph each stage of the work and hope to share those with you in the future.

Aside from the hospital, my other sectors of work have also picked up a lot recently. In brief, I am now working with 5 groups of women, training them in things such as basic accounting and feasibility studies for their group investments (buying grains and stocking them to sell at a later date.) I have taken on a project in which we are attempting to rearrange the entire market area – a task far too large for the time I have left here but hoping I can get a good start and then pass it on to the volunteer that will replace me. I am continuing to work with the basketball team and I hope to have our first match in the next few months. We have a neat opportunity to enter a league based in Kara that should start in June or July. Our trainings have been stepped up a bit in hopes that we can be ready by that time. The library is still going strong. We recently set up a volleyball court there in a continued effort to make it a community center of sorts. Also, the community garden should be getting started back up in the next month, this time headed by the librarian instead of me. I am still looking to install a couple of computers there to do basic skills training before leaving. It looks like this will get started in June or July.

So upon writing this, I find that I am not all that interested in talking about work today. So I will more on to some of my observations from the past month.

To begin with, I guess I should note that I will be back in the US in just over a month. My brother is getting married on the 21^st of May in Roanoke, VA and I am the best man in the wedding. Therefore, I will be flying back into DC on the 14^th of May. Crazy to think about being back in the US after almost 2 full years. But anyway, if anyone reading this is interested in getting together for breakfast, lunch, dinner (plan on doing a ton of good eating while at home) or other fun activities, please send me an email. Would love to see as many people as possible. Also am up for any speaking/presentations about what I am doing here in Togo if anyone is interested. I don’t really have any sort of plan for my time yet. I am guessing I will stay around the DC area for a couple of days after arriving and then will head down to Roanoke around the 18^th. Guessing I will head back to the DC area around the 23^rd and then will be free up until the 31^st when I fly back out to Togo. I look forward to your emails.

The even crazier part of all this is that just 2 or 3 months after arriving back in Togo, I will finish my service as a Peace Corps Volunteer. This has really had me thinking a lot. At multiple points in the last couple months, I have considering taking the option of extending my service as one is allowed to do. I think a part of that is a result of how comfortable life has become here. Not comfortable in a boring sense. Perhaps it is more achievement related – as in, I finally feel like I belong here. I understand how things work and I know how to work within that system. One of my closer Togolese friends always talks about how it is just when a volunteer truly understands Togo and can get some serious work done that their 2 years is finished and they leave. I am beginning to understand that more and more now. But on the other side of the coin, a recent day in village reminded me why I will be ready to leave come August. Though I am the busiest I have ever been in my service and I had had a very productive morning, I was alone sitting around my house for a couple of hours, as is normally the case – our version of a siesta – and I was just tired of that. I found myself thinking that while I have really enjoyed this experience, I will be ready for my next adventure when August comes.

I think part of this stems from my lack of significant personal relationships with the Togolese. In talking with another volunteer the other day, I realized that my estimation of a volunteers work here in based on two large categories – their work and the relationships they have developed with their community. In judging myself, I am very content with my work but feel like I am lacking in the relationship section. I am very well known and liked in my village but on my end I feel like these relationships have never reached the level for which I strive. I’m not sure I can pinpoint the cause either. Is it my level of French that still gets in way? Is it me holding back a bit, knowing how frustrating and painful it will be to me personally to know the realities of these people’s lives? Or is it something cultural? Do we lack so many commonalities that it would be next to impossible to achieve the level of relationship that I value so very much? My guess is that it is some mix of those and other factors that I am not even considering at this point. I do know however, that there are other volunteers who seem to have done a much better job at pushing past these things. Are they stronger at these skills? Or do they have a higher tolerance than I? Or is it that what we are looking for is not the same thing? Again, hard to say. But to bring this all back to square one, I think that this lack of relationships is a factor in why I will be ready to leave in August.

Another reason, which I discussed with my mother the other day, is the fatigue of this work. I have found myself fatigued recently, not because of the conditions, but because it is exhausting to be fighting for the future of people when many times they can’t be bothered to help. Obviously there are many exceptions to this, but there are instances when I just want to refuse to continue because I am just not sure that the people we are working for really want the change. It just wears you out.

My prediction – corruption will not end soon. I know, I really stepped out on a limb with that one. But to site a recent example: my prefet, the most powerful person in my area, one of my favorite people here and a gem in Guerin-Kouka because of his worldliness and forward-thinking, told me the other day when discussing the hospital project that I would at certain times just have close my eyes, turn my head, and allow a bit of stealing from the project. His explanation is that it is just how things are done here. And though he is right, this thinking will never ever result in a change of mentality. So of course, being the hideously stubborn person that I am, I responded with very Americanized work written work contract, laden with clauses about stealing, bonuses for good work and penalties for late work – all of which is never seen here, where most deals are done by mouth and not respected much at all. The prefet just chuckled at me, but at the same time he knows better than to think I am not going to follow the contract to a T.

I had a couple of copies of Sports Illustrated with me the other day in village. Remarkably, what the people were most concerned with, rather than the amazing photos, ads, etc, was whether they could possibly find any addresses to which they could write. You would not believe how many times we are asked for our addresses here, normally by complete strangers, when we are traveling. And though I would like to believe it is simply that they want a correspondent like they claim, it seems more likely that this is just another one of their pipe dreams where someone they write to will send them tons of money or invite them to come live in Europe or the United States. It is sad but it also sickens me a bit. It just seems to be another part of the suffocating learned-helplessness that is holding back progress here.

An incident of child trafficking was reported to me the other day from another volunteer in my cluster. She asked me to go to the police in town because the children had just been taken from the parents by someone they could identify and possibly stop before she got too far away and the kids wound up working for free in Nigeria for the next couple of years. So I hightailed my way to their bureau with the news. They seemed very concerned and started making some phone calls. In the end, the responsibility was passed on to another police station because where the kids had been taken at that point was no longer in their jurisdiction. The point that got me was talking to the head guy afterwards. He told me that this was a serious problem and that he wanted to do something about it. It was just that they had no means to do so. Initially, he looked to me, as to see if I might pay him to go look for these trafficked kids. When he didn’t get a positive response he continued, explaining that the only way they could go to this village to look for the kids would be to rent a vehicle in town since they have none of their own. In summary, he told me that if we could guarantee the location of the children and the women that was trafficking them, then they would go. But without a guarantee, they couldn’t go because if they didn’t capture someone, then who would pay for the cost of renting the car. It was really sad – in so many ways.

To end on a lighter note, here in one of my biggest worries about coming back to the US. I am very afraid that I am going to say highly inappropriate things in public and here’s why. In Togo, almost no one understands English and a lot of the volunteers, myself included, have developed the habit of just saying whatever we want out loud, sometimes talking between ourselves or sometimes just out loud out of frustration. For example, some guy is being an idiot in a taxi and you just go ahead and say what you think about him, knowing full well that he won’t understand a word of it. It is like the things you would normally say inside your head about things that you don’t like now just pop right out of your mouth without a second thought. The examples could go on forever because this is something that occurs every day if not every hour. The problem is, the people in the United States speak English. I have a feeling this is going to make for some very awkward moments.

In closing, I am happy. I am happy to be having this amazing experience. And now as my service draws to a close, I am so excited about all the possibilities for my next adventure. I really feel like the whole world is open to me and it is a great feeling. Any guesses on what the next adventure will be???

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 13:30:21 GMT

Huge thanks to everyone!

We have obtained enough donations to complete the hospital rehabilitation project. We will begin construction in approximately 2 weeks and if things go according to plan, we should be able to beat the rainy season. I will keep you posted on the progress. Also, I would like to apoligize for my lack of recent entries on here. I have been hesitant to post anything because I wanted to hospital information to be on the top of the site. However, now that we are done with the fundraising, I will try to get a big update on here in the next week or so. Lots of things happening here, especially since my time here is winding down - only just over 4 months left. Crazy to think about it. Anyway, thanks again to all of you for your efforts. I encourage you to continue thinking of projects like these. Being on the ground here, I can attest to the huge difference a few dollars can make. Gotta run for the moment. Happy St Patty's day a day late.

nick

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Sun, 08 Jan 2006 16:24:35 GMT

Hope everyone has had a very happy holiday season. Personally, my holidays were spent on a much-needed vacation to Morocco. However, I have now returned to Togo with my time left here dwindling but with very big goals to achieve before that time is up. For those of you that read this blog regularly, you already know about my desire to help my community rehabilitate their hospital. This project means a great deal to me as well as my community. The situation we are facing is grave and something needs to be done about it. Guerin-Kouka has one hospital that serves over 100,000 people in the poorest part of one of the poorest countries in the world. While this is less than optimal, it is the fact that the building is in such a poor condition that the medical professionals are not able to do their job that I find so sad and troubling. The biggest problem is that the roof of the building leaks horribly. This has been occurring for over 7 years now and the problems just keep compounding. Because of all the leakage, the walls and ceilings are covered in mold creating a horribly unsanitary environment for patient care. At the same time, the structural integrity of the building is being compromised. The leaks are such that during the rainy season many of the personnel are forced to abandon their offices and patients in need to care and forced to stay in their homes. I encourage you to take a look at some photos I recently took of the building to see for yourself the gravity of this situation (go to photos.yahoo.com/nvilelle and then click on the hospital folder). I find this situation unacceptable.

The time has come to make this project a reality. After completing all of necessary paperwork, we are ready to raise the funds needed for the project. This is done through a Peace Corps program called Peace Corps Partnership. It represents a partnership between the community here in Togo and friends, family, and donors back home in the United States. To be a part of the program, my community of Guerin-Kouka has pledged to contribute 25% of the funds necessary to complete this project. This comes to $2762 for this particular project, no small amount of change in a country where the average person earns just over $300 a year. The other 75% is where I hope that you can help. If you have taken the time to look at any of the photos and read this email, I think you should be able to see that these are not conditions that any human beings deserve to live under. And while there are many problems here in Togo and throughout West Africa, this is one where we can make a difference. As a person born into a fortunate situation and country, I can tell you from experience, it feels really good to give something back. As you will see on the website, our goal is to raise $8182. If you are able to, and feel like you would like to contribute to this project, you can do so by going to this page of the Peace Corps website. If for some reason this link doesn’t work, you can go to www.peacecorps.gov, click on the "donate now" tab, select "Africa" on the following page, and then scroll down until you find the Togo projects, mine being the hospital rehabilitation. I am also asking you to help me spread the word about this project. Perhaps you know an organization that would like to donate to a cause like this or other people who would like to give. I strongly encourage you to pass this email along. The faster that we can raise this money will mean just that much less time that my community has to face these conditions. Also, rainy season is coming in only a few short months.

If you are interested in more details about this project, I have put the entire Peace Corps Partnership proposal below. Feel free to contact me personally about anything further. Though I am only able to be on the internet every couple weeks, I will do my best to get back to you as quickly as possible. Thanks for you time and interest and I wish you all the best.

Sincerely,

Nicholas Vilelle

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Sun, 08 Jan 2006 14:39:48 GMT

PEACE CORPS PARTNERSHIP PROGRAM

Project Proposal : Guerin-Kouka Hospital Rehabilitation

Community Name : Guerin-Kouka, Togo

Peace Corps Volunteer : Nicholas Vilelle

US Hometown : Brookings, Oregon

Total Project Cost : $10,956

ABSTRACT

Guerin-Kouka is a village of 20,000 people in the northwestern section of Togo with a desperate health care situation. Located in a strikingly rural and underdeveloped region, the 100,000 people in Guerin-Kouka and its surrounding villages are served by a single hospital which can take up to 5 hours to reach. While this is a problem in itself, the hospital has now fallen into a horrible state of disrepair. The roof leaks great quantities of water during the rainy season, causing hospital personnel to flee their offices, patients to reside in their homes while in the need of care, and mold to grow nearly everywhere. In short, the conditions are anything but hygienic. This is a proposal to rehabilitate this hospital by putting on a new roof, stabilizing the structure, and sanitizing the interior. Backed by a very motivated community that is led by a well-structured Health Committee, this project should greatly improve the health care situation in Guerin-Kouka and the prefecture of Dankpen.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION

Togo, a small West African nation, is situated between Ghana, to the west, and Benin, to the east. Togo is divided into 5 regions: Maritime (most southern), Plateau, Central, Kara, and Savannah (most northern); the Dankpen Prefecture (the Togolese equivalent of a county) comprises the northeastern part of the Kara region. The prefecture is composed of ten districts, called cantons. Dankpen’s prefectural capital is the town of Guerin-Kouka, located 469km from Lomé, the national capital, and 100km from the city of Kara, the regional capital. French is the national language of Togo, but Togo’s many ethnic groups contribute to the country’s vast lingual diversity. The Konkomba people constitute the overwhelming ethnic majority in the Dankpen prefecture, but are found sparingly elsewhere in Togo. The prefecture’s 100,000 inhabitants lead a very traditional, rural lifestyle. Residents of Dankpen are nearly all farmers—growing subsistence staple crops like corn and yams as well as cotton, from which they make little profit. There are neither paved roads nor running water in any part of the prefecture, and (unreliable) telephones and (12 hours per day) electricity can only be found in Guerin-Kouka.

One of the most serious limitations plaguing this prefecture is the health care system. Serving this entire population of 100,000, there is one single hospital, located within the city limits of Guerin-Kouka. While this itself is not an ideal situation, the problem is exponentially compounded by the current state of the hospital building. The building’s problems go back many years but it is only in the last decade that the problems have intensified to the current level. Due to a combination of poor workmanship, poorly mixed cement, and improperly placed dynamite charges used when drilling a well behind the hospital, the flat-topped cement roof began to leak. This was approximately seven years ago and as one would guess, the problem is only getting worse. At this stage, the hospital is only partially functional. Certain rooms have been abandoned because of the quantity of water pouring in during storms. Though other offices have been retained, in the most recent years many of the hospital personnel have been forced to move their offices into their homes during the rainy season. Also, with the walls and ceilings saturated with water, many of the hospital rooms and offices are covered in mold and fungus. One can deduce that such conditions fall significantly short of a sanitary environment. In fact, during rainy season, patients are regularly forced to pass their nights at home even though they are in need of professional supervision.

The community has done its best to find a solution to this problem. They have searched high and low for funding, requesting aid from Aide et Action (a French aid organization), 5ieme FED (the European Union aid organization), the Togolese Ministry of Health, and other local and international NGOs but not succeeding. Approximately three years ago, a French NGO took on the project. Sloped walls were built on top of the flat roof in preparation to be covered with metal roofing. One section of the hospital was completed, a part over the maternity ward, before the project was abandoned due to unknown reasons. The positive aspect of this is that we are able to see that the technique used was successful. In this part of the building, the leaks have stopped and hospital personnel have been able to restore the rooms to a more hygienic state. Unfortunately this NGO never came back to complete the job and the uncovered parts of the roof continue to leak.

PROPOSAL SUMMARY

As a result of this history and state of affairs, a hospital rehabilitation project has been proposed. An in-depth tour of the hospital building and premises was conducted by a team of hospital personnel, an engineer working for the European Union development fund, and the local Peace Corps volunteer. From the knowledge gained, the most basic needs and priorities for getting the hospital back a satisfactory level of functioning were established. First and foremost, the roofing started by the French NGO will be completed. As stated before, the technique has proven itself to be successful and very durable. Alongside of this, cracks found in some of the building’s interior walls will be stabilized. The engineer is confident that this small step will go a long way to prevent further deterioration of the building. Finally, for the sanitation of the building, rooms that, as a result of the mold, pose a threat to the health of the inhabitants will be sterilized and painted. Upon completion, this project will give the hospital personnel much more hygienic conditions in which to work while at the same time restoring some of the confidence lost by the community in its past years of deterioration.

VERIFICATION OF PARTNERSHIP GUIDELINES

1. Project Meets a Pressing Community Need

The state of the Guerin-Kouka hospital is dire. For the past seven years, the people of Guerin-Kouka have had to live with horribly unsanitary and unhygienic conditions. It is not unreasonable to believe that these conditions have resulted in the deaths of some of the patients. Whether it is patients residing in moldy rooms, hospital personnel being forced to abandon their offices because of rain pouring in, or patients in need of care being forced to spend their nights at home because the water keeps dripping in all the patient rooms, this cannot continue. Though this project will not cure all the health care problems of the area, it will be a huge step in the right direction for the organized health care of the region.

2. Project is Community Initiated and Directed

The community of Guerin-Kouka is very driven to in improve the conditions at the hospital. They have made numerous attempts spanning multiple years to find funding through the Ministry of Health, the United States embassy, and other NGOs operating inside and outside Togo but to no avail. With the funding of this partnership project, the motivation of the community, combined with an excellent management group ensures the success of this project. The management is chaired by the head of the Health Committee at the hospital, M.GBANDI Francois, a well-respected, retired member of the community who will have ample time to closely monitor the progress of this project. The préfet (governmental figurehead) of the Dankpen prefecture, M. MAGANAWE Dadja, is also very supportive of this project and will do everything possible to aide its completion. Finally, the Guerin-Kouka hospital has just installed a new doctor on location, M. NABA, a young, highly motivated, well-trained professional. By means of being new on the scene, he has a fresh outlook on our situation and is dedicated to improving the health care situation in the prefecture of Dankpen. With these gentlemen in place, backed by a highly motivated community, this project will be a great success.

3. A Well-Developed Plan for Project Implementation and Sustainability Exists for the Project

A. Gender, Racial or Religious Equitability:

Renovating a hospital is beneficial to each and every man, woman and child in Guerin-Kouka and throughout the prefecture. The opportunity for receiving proper medical care, especially during the rainy season, is augmented with the

B. Local Situation:

Prior to renovation of the hospital, all local government authorities were informed and permission was granted. The local doctor approved the restoration plans before construction commenced.

C. In-Country Means of Support:

The hospital is part of the Ministry of Health, and is consequently supported and staffed by public means. This project seeks to update and refurbish an already existing building.

D. Resources and Time:

Timeline for Goals and Objectives

Objective	Indicator of Success	Responsible Party	Timeline
Objective 1: Completed metal roof	Roofed building	Carpenters, Health Committee, and Community	First 8 weeks
Task 1.1 Purchase and import all needed materials	All needed supplies at hospital site	Préfet, Health Committee Head, Merchant, Forestry agent	First 2 weeks
Task 1.2 Install wooden supports for roofing	Framed roof	Carpenters	First 4 weeks
Task 1.3 Install metal roofing	Building ready for painting	Carpenters	Weeks 5 thru 8
Objective 2: Stabilized interior walls	Cracks repaired	Mason, Merchant, Welder, and Engineer	Weeks 9 and 10
Task 2.1 Preparation of damaged surfaces	Surfaces ready for reparation	Mason	Week 9
Task 2.2 Repair surfaces	Furnished building	Welder, Mason, and Engineer	Week 10

Objective 3: Sterilized and rehabilitated interior rooms	Rooms ready to be used by hospital personnel and patients	Community, Painters, and Health Committee	Weeks 11 thru 14
Task 3.1 Preparing walls and ceilings for paint	Surfaces in condition to receive paint	Community and Painters	Weeks 11 thru 13
Task 3.2 Painting	Painting completed	Painters	Weeks 12 thru 14

E. Environmental:

This project has no environmental beneficiaries.

F. Sustainability:

As noted above, the local management of this project is a strong indicator that it will succeed. Even as this proposal is being submitted, the people of Guerin-Kouka are actively working to ensure that their contribution is in place and ready if and when the funds arrive. M.GBANDI Francois is leading these efforts in collaboration with the préfet. They are also working on a project timeline, so as to have the necessary materials and/or professionals on hand at the appropriate stages of the project to avoid any wasted time. The time line above will give a rough guide to how the project will progress. As for the sustainability of the project, this will be left in the hands of M. NABA and the other hospital personnel. They are highly motivated to improve the state of the hospital as a first step toward a vision of completely overhauling the health care system in the prefecture. With a rehabilitated hospital at their disposal, they will be better placed to maintain as well as build upon this progress in the near future.

4. The Community Contributes At Least 25% of the Total Project Cost

As noted in the following budget, the community will be donating 25% of the resources that we will be using for this project including all of the lumber, sand, gravel, and cement. This shows Guerin-Kouka’s dedication to this project, as 25% is a substantial amount of money for one of the poorest prefectures in the country. However, the community realizes that they cannot continue living with a health care facility is such disrepair, and have resolved to do their part.

5. Indicators of Success Have Been Outlined in the Proposal

A. Quality of Life:

The entire village (population 20,000) will benefit from hospital infrastructure improvements both directly and indirectly. The hospital roof will no longer leak, walls and ceilings will cease to be lined with mold, and the overall building structure will be more resilient. Therefore, the community will see improved health in men, women and children. Each and every person will have access to more sanitary health care, and the staff will be better prepared to meet medical needs. Women, approximately 3,000 per year, will be more inclined to receive pre-natal consultations and be able to give birth in sanitary conditions aided by an already present skilled birth attendant. Particularly during rainy season, people will be more inclined to seek medical care at a hospital that is clean and dry, resulting in a projected increased awareness of health issues and how to eliminate some of the risk factors associated with them.

B. Organizational Capacity:

The community will have clearly defined goals and objectives, as well as a systematic accounting system and a sustainable financial management program, to be supervised by the current Peace Corps volunteer. These materials solicited from the Peace Corps Partnership Program are a one-time start up fee. Following the initial start up costs, the Health Committee will be responsible for maintaining proposed reparations, as well as identifying, organizing and soliciting funding for future renovations. The community has already clearly identified a serious obstacle to the provision of ample health care, namely the current poor condition of the hospital, and is therefore equipped to make informed assessments in the future.

6. A Well Developed Budget in Local Currency and US Dollars Detailing Both the Community Contribution and Requested Funds.

Please see attached budget.

7. Partnership Funds Restricted to Proposed Project

The project’s originators are aware of Peace Corps Partnership Program guidelines and restrictions, and understand that the Partnership funds will be used for this project’s implementation only. As greater numbers of community members are drawn into the project, they too will be explained the nature and extent of PCP funding. No other outside sponsorship will be sought, and it is understood that project funding is subject to approval by the Partnership Committee.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 09:10:38 GMT

Put up a few more new photos this morning on Yahoo Photos under the folder of Basketball, AIDS ride, and thanksgiving. Enjoy.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 13:02:31 GMT

So I cut all my hair off. I guess that's that. 13 1/2 months of growing it was enough for me. Hospital project looking really good. Put some pictures up at photos.yahoo.com/nvilelle if you want to take a look. I plan on using these when I start trying to raise money. We have got the entire budget planned out and I submitted the proposal to my boss. I hope we can start collecting donation in January if everything goes well. The whole project is going to cost right around $11,000 with the community taking care of about 2800, leaving me $8200 to raise. Please keep us in mind during the holiday season. I miss you all. Happy Holidays.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 12:35:01 GMT

It’s been a long time. A lot has happened. But happy holidays and here we go.

So I will start with an update on my work.

Library: Things have been going well and I have continued to try to distance myself from the project. One of the big goals here in Peace Corps is to work ourselves out of a job. If we are able to do that, it highly increases the chance that our projects will continue to function after our departure. This seems to be going well at the library aside from the fact that the librarian is still hesitant to make any big decisions without consulting me. However, the rest of the management committee seems to be doing very well running things. Also, we recently have started issuing library cards and I am pleasantly surprised with how many we have sold. Initially, the library was free for everyone to use but no one was allowed to check out books. Now, in order to raise a bit of money for the upkeep of the building and to allow people to check out books, we have initiated a library card system. The cards seemed to be moving very slowly at first and I was afraid that they were going to be an obstacle, keeping some people from being able to read. The cost is only about 60 cents for a year, but the applicants are also responsible for getting two passport sizes photos of themselves – not the easiest task in Kouka. I was worried that the combination of the two tasks might keep people from registering. However, the sale of the cards has risen and at weeks end, we have 130 library members, mostly local students.

Also at the library, the garden project has pretty much finished up. Sadly, while I was recently out of village, the last of my produce was stolen out of the garden. It mainly consisted of cabbage and the last of the carrots and tomatoes. Overall, I am pretty happy with the results of the project. As of yet, sadly I have not gotten the students to start the gardening competition between the schools that I had hoped to run. However, on the positive side, I have noticed some increased interest in diversifying the range of things that the gardeners grow and I have had many instances of students inquiring about how they can get the various types of seeds. Specifically, I let the last planting of lettuce go to seed and now am selling them very cheaply to the interested students. I am making each of them promise to let a few plants go to seed at the end of each planting, thereby giving them a continuous supply of seeds without have to spend any more money. We will wait and see if they succeed, however, just the fact that they are trying it is better than previously when only one single person grew it. Hopefully, the students will succeed, make some money, and thus encourage more people to try it in the future.

Finally, I have one other possible project that I want to try at the library before leaving. I have long thought about trying to install a couple of computers there. My hesitation has always been that the project is almost solely my idea, not something that the people in my community have asked me to do. I normally try to avoid these types of "push" projects as I feel projects initiated by people in the community are more likely to be maintained in the future. However, I truly feel that training on computers is slowly but surely becoming a desired skill here in Togo and that computer training could really offer benefits in the future. Almost no one in my entire community of 20,000+ has ever had any experience with computers, many of them never even having seen one. I really want to do the project and I have decided to leave the decision to whether or not I can find someone in town that I feel is competent to train people. I hear from people around town that there are a couple of individuals that have these skills so I am hoping to meet these people shortly and see if how confident I feel about their abilities and motivation. If it looks good, keep an eye out for a request for funding that I will put up on the Peace Corps website to buy the computers, similar to how we raised money to build the basketball court. I will keep you posted.

Grain Stockroom: Not sure that I have talked about this project yet so I will give you a quick summary. For some time, I had noticed a very nice building that sat out behind our market. It was surrounded by tall grasses and I had never seen it opened. I began making inquires and found out that it was a building built by the European Union development fund when they moved our big market to a new site outside of town and built some other shelters for the market women. The trail of information led me to talk to the prefet and I found out that the very nice building had been sitting empty for almost all of its 4-year existence. Nobody could really give me a good reason why and they were excited to have me do something with it. It was a bit of a black eye for the prefecture because the people working for the EU were not happy that it was not being used and were hesitating to fund future projects. As a result of all this, the prefet happily handed the keys and control of the building over to me for a trail period to see what I could do with it. The building was designed to as a storage building for the goods sold in the market and I decided to keep this design as this was something needed by the community. I wanted to put women in charge of running the building because I usually find them to be more serious and responsible about the work, less likely to steal, and it gives them an opportunity to have a bit of power in a male-dominated society. With a little searching, I found an organized group of women that were already involved in the selling of grains (corn, soy, other assorted farm goods). We elected a manager, found and hired a security guard to sleep there at night, cleaned up the surrounding area, and were up and running as of last week. The business is slowly but surely coming, as more and more people get the information about the service we are offering and the low prices we charge. I am really excited about the project because it could profit so many people in the community in various ways. First of all, the market is about a kilometer from the center of town and every Sunday, the women have to pay boys to haul all of their wares out on pushcarts. These people will benefit by being able to leave their things in our building during the week, saving them time, money, and effort every week. Second, people should be able to make money using our service. Our area is one of the biggest grain producers in the country and there are buyers that come all the way from the capital each week to buy things from our farmers very cheaply directly after the harvest. These people, in turn, either take the goods directly to Lome and sell them at a large profit, or they stock them until after the season of harvest and then sell them for an even larger profet when the price has risen as a result of declining supply. Sadly, our community is left out of this loop and only receives the dirt-cheap prices paid to them directly after harvest. With our new service, I am encouraging people from the community to begin stocking things themselves, thus cutting us into the profit made when the product is sold months later. People are slowly understanding the concept. Now the only obstacle will be that so many people live directly hand to mouth that it can be terribly difficult for them to continue to feed their families without the immediate income from the harvest.

Hospital of Guerin-Kouka: This is a project on the horizon for me. We have a small hospital in Guerin-Kouka, close to my house. This is the only hospital for our entire prefecture (like a county) and thus serves around 100,000 people. An interesting fact, this entire population is served by one, and only one, doctor. Anyway, to get around to the problem, one must only look at the building. Apparently, when the building was built, the work was done very poorly (most likely because people were stealing from the project as is normally the case here). The main problem that resulted from the shoddy workmanship is the fact that the building leaks like a sieve. When it rains, one might as well be outside. Some of the rooms are so bad that the personnel have had to completely move out of the rooms. For example, the Assistant Medical, second in charge behind the doctor can’t reside in his office during rainy season and has to set up shop on a small bench out in the lobby, which of course also leaks, just not as badly. As a result of this leaking, many of the walls have developed cracks and the ceiling and walls are highly molded in places. I can only imagine that many of you sitting there reading this are appalled and shocked that a hospital could be kept in such repair. Well, hold on to your seats, because it is not only kept in such repair currently, this is a problem that has been ongoing for 7 years. Can you believe that??? The saddest part is that at this point, the people are so habituated to it that they don’t even see it as that strange. I remind you, this is the only place to go for health care for miles and miles and miles. Some of you might ask how the government could possibly allow this to occur and I only wish I had a good answer for you. It is a government-run hospital and is absolutely their responsibility that they are neglecting. Many times, they have said that they will come and repair the building but empty promises are not hard to find here. This is a problem that I have known about for some time and has caused me quite a bit of internal conflict. Like I said before, this responsibility absolutely lies at the feet of the government; the same government that for decades and decades has "reportedly" stolen so much money from the people and lived a lifestyle never even seen by the poor people of Togo. As a result of this, I never wanted to try to do anything about the problem. I stubbornly wanted the government to come in and take care of their business. But recently there came a point that I just didn’t care anymore. Maybe I got more realistic. Whatever you want to call it, I no longer cared about what was right and just, and instead started to think about how much harm this problem is causing for this community that I care about. Though it might sound dramatic, I can’t imagine that the state of the hospital is not the cause of many deaths throughout the years of operating in such a squalid state. Trying to be hygienic in a place wet and infested with whatever is growing on the walls seems to me to be an anomaly. So I want to do something about it and help my community however I can. Now it is just figuring out how to go about it. I have some very fortunate timing. Our old doctor was moved to another hospital and a new one has just arrived. He is a young man and seems highly motivated. As a result of being fresh on the scene, he is not quite so jaded as the others that have been living with this state of affairs for years. I talked to him this past week and got his opinion of exactly how he sees things in his new home. He saw things similar manner as I had. I explained to him some of my ideas and he seemed receptive to them. More than that, he seemed receptive to them because of how it might help the community and not just him personally. Far too often, the people here only want to get involved with things if they see a possibility that they themselves might stand to benefit. The new doctor so far seems to be (fingers crossed) above that. We have another meeting this Monday, during which the doctor, myself, and an engineer that we have asked for advice are going to do a survey of the entire building and see exactly what we are getting ourselves into. I truly hope that this is something that I can see through.

How you might fit it: like I said when discussing the computer project, the only manner that we have accessible to us to raise the money for projects like these is through donations on the Peace Corps website. Though I am obviously not quite to this point yet for the hospital project, I believe that this will be the way that I try to raise money to do this work. I am estimating that the project could be quite expensive, perhaps as high as 15 or $20,000. I realize that this is a lot but I am hoping that you can see the possible benefits like I can. So in advance, please keep this upcoming request for funds in mind. Also, if anyone would happen to know of any organizations (church groups, hospitals, school groups, individual philanthropists, etc) that might be looking for a charity project to aide, please make them aware of our situation or even encourage them to contact me directly (nvilelle@gmail.com). I have always thought that there should be more opportunities to partner organizations in developed countries with ones in underdeveloped countries but as of yet have not found a partner for this particular project. Again, I will keep you posted.

This project brings up an interesting point that I would like to discuss with you. As a volunteer here, far too often, it feels like we are only seen as a dollar sign. People seen our white skin coming and immediate think that there is the possibility that they are going to come out of the encounter with some money in their pocket or perhaps the shirt off of my back. There is no end to the things that they will ask for. Any thing you have or might possibly have, the Togolese will ask you to give them. If I am trying to do a project, people will try their damndest to give me the right answers, aka the answers that they think I want to hear. I, and all the volunteers I know, spend so much time and energy fighting off this stereotype. I don’t know how many times I have tried to explain that the Peace Corps is an organization built around the sharing of knowledge and expertise and that I would love to help them with their problems but I will not be giving them money. I say it so much it is just burned into my brain. It is so frustrating being seen only as a dollar sign. And the sad part is the even if I was handing out money right and left, it wouldn’t do any good. The vast majority of the money would be wasted to stupid material things, or even better than that, drank away. Even the projects that started out with good intentions would 9 times out of 10 fall by the waist side after a few short months. One thing that I think many people don’t understand about development work is that money doesn’t solve everything, and all too often, anything. But too many aide organizations just come in throwing money at projects and then pat themselves on the back and leave. Then they are shocked when the come back a few years later and the money is all gone with nothing to show for it and people are living in the same state. But anyway, I digress and will now step back off my podium and get onto the point I was hoping to make. People see me as a dollar sign and I HATE that. But what I realized the other day is that I AM a dollar sign. I DO have access to money that these people can’t find. I can do projects like the ones I have previously mentioned – and things like that simply don’t get done without money. I could give the people at the hospital the most sage advice until I am blue in the face and they could want to follow it but the building still doesn’t get fixed without money to but the supplies. I don’t know if I am doing a good job of explaining all this but it really leaves me in a weird place. After a lot of mulling it over, I have decided to be that dollar sign for my last 9 months I have here. Though I have always hated this stereotype, I also hate the lives that the Togolese are forced to live. So I am going to get over myself and do some funded projects that I think can really make a difference. This obviously doesn’t mean that I am going to start throwing money at every person that asks for it, but it does mean that I now acknowledge that some things need me to be that dollar sign that I have the ability to be.

I talked about my "last 9 months" and strangely, that is what it feels like. An amount of time that might feel like forever in another situation has become for me a tiny speck in time. I now look at projects and think, well, can’t start that because I won’t be able to finish it in the time I have left here. It is weird to try to explain but I really feel like I am on the downhill slide. I feel like I am wrapping things up when I am only 3 months past the midpoint of my service. Strange huh? But I am okay with it. I am.

The past month has seen many sad moments for me. The group of volunteers before us is finishing their service this month and it has been many very sad goodbyes. If I have ever seen a more impressive group of 30 people, I don’t know where it would have been. Some of the most dynamic people I have ever had the chance to meet are currently saying their goodbyes to Togo and it is really sad to see them go. However, watching them go also makes one think about his/her own departure from here. And no matter how I look at, I can’t see that there is any way that I will not feel horribly guilty leaving here. It is made worse by everyone from the outside congratulating you on how selfless you are and what an amazing thing you have just accomplished. But you know in your mind and heart just how little you have done and how much there is left behind to do. But you get to go on back to your pretty charmed life in the United States. You might be returning completely broke but you still feel like such a glutton, going back to the land of your birth with all the pretty things and good food it contains. And what gives you the right to go back there? You were born there. And what comes next for the Togolese? They go on living in this nightmare that they call life. And why not, it is where they were born. How will I possibly not feel so ridiculously guilty? Not a question I think I will soon be able to answer.

On a lighter note, I was told by a school director, upon meeting him for the first time, what a pretty woman I have become. How is that for flattery? The strange thing is that he didn’t mean anything malicious by it and it was said as a part of normal conversation. Guess he didn’t find my gorgeous locks to be so masculine. Hair update: currently 13 ½ months without a haircut.

Been a little sick recently but feeling better now. Had myself a nice bout of kidney stones. Those little buggers are painful. But thankfully, the stones, which were quite large, broke up and I was able to pass all the fragments without needing further medical attention. However, for about 10 days there, I was not the happiest camper in Togo.

Anyway, that’s the latest from over here. I am going to attach below 3 articles that I have recently written for various Peace Corps publications. They are about various projects I have done and you may find that much of the information has already been contained in the weblog. My request to you, my faithful readers, is 1) please keep in mind the funded projects I discussed and 2) do something nice for a stranger and then tell me about it. Stories like those always make me feel good. Until next time, happy living!

A Whole New Ballgame

By: Nick Vilelle

They say sport is a language that crosses all cultures and borders; in our recent project, we wanted to harness this language, and make it talk for us. Upon arrival in Togo, it became quite evident that we were a very athletic group of Peace Corps volunteers. We put this athleticism to the test multiple times in front of the Togolese public.

One of the first occasions that we formed a team was for a volunteer’s basketball court inauguration. We organized informally, and had a really good time playing against a local town team. The competition was friendly, and we were impressed with the crowd that the event drew. Over the course of the next few months, we had opportunities to again put our skills on display as we were invited to play other exhibition matches for events such as cultural fetes. As we played more and more, we slowly began to realize that not only was this fun, but also a great information dissemination opportunity. At each of these matches, we had a large, captive audience that had come out to see the Americans play. The question surfaced: why aren’t we taking more advantage of these audiences? After a few late night discussions, we decided the show must go on the road, and the idea for our basketball tour was born.

With a sure-fire method to draw crowds, we now had to decide what message we felt was most important to pass on to these predominantly youth audiences. As a country in West Africa, the proposal of an HIV/AIDS focus seemed to be most appropriate. However, all of us had been in country for a significant amount of time, and had seen how kids could recite facts and figures about AIDS without much thought. Therefore, the challenge was to get people to actually hear us, and to make people really think about their actions. From this, we decided that we wanted to put together things a bit more creatively, and to try to talk to the youth on their level. We are young people and wanted to talk to the Togolese youth about a problem that affects us all. We hoped that by bringing it to a more personal level, more of what we said would stick. In an effort to steer clear of typical information-sharing sessions, we chose the importance of HIV/AIDS testing as our focal point. By choosing this topic, we felt we were tackling a pressing social problem in Togo, as well as presenting opportunity for immediate action by the youth. In Togo, the process of getting tested is highly stigmatized. People are both very afraid and ashamed to even speak about the issue. As a result, the public is ignorant to the presence of HIV/AIDS in their milieu. We wanted to address these two obstacles, and to help make testing less of a drama, and more of a responsibility that every person needs to assume.

After some research into the possible cities we could visit, we chose four towns in the northern half of Togo. We mainly made our decision based on the motivation of the local basketball team, the available facilities for the game, and the active presence of an HIV/AIDS testing and counseling center. In Togo, there are still many regions that do not have these resources available. We wanted to assure that after the game all who had heard our message would be able to take action, and get tested. In each of the four sites, we sought to collaborate with a local NGO that works in the public health sector, preferably with HIV/AIDS testing and patients. We encouraged each of these local organizations to assume control of the planning of the game, because we thought that the less involvement we had the better, as it would be these resident groups who would be taking care of the community after we had left. An interesting result was that each stop on our tour was unique. We found that some things worked better than others, but overall we thought it was a huge success. Following are a few details from each village.

Mango was our first stop on the tour. We had collaborated with a local NGO, as well as the hospital where the testing is done. A good crowd turned out, considering we were competing against a big soccer match being played across town at the same time. An estimated 200 people attended. We had asked for, and were pleasantly surprised to find, a volunteer from the other team that was willing to get tested the day of the game. As it turned out, this boy in his 20s had never been tested, but was brave enough to do so that day and then turn around and speak about it during our halftime talk. It truly was a touching moment of the tour. He did an amazing job explaining why he had chosen to get tested, and why he felt it was important for others to do the same. Following this, a doctor talked about the actual process of testing and counseling. For our part, like at every stop, we wanted to stress that while getting tested is somewhat scary, it should be a part of everyone’s life. We explained that we had all been tested and how we felt it was our responsibility to our family and friends, as well as to ourselves. Also, following every match, we had a sit-down meal with the opposing team. This allowed us some valuable one-on-one time with the players. It gave us a chance to see how they felt about the presentation, and to receive feedback on how it might be improved. We loved this part of each stop. It was great talking to the kids about how they, as athletes, have the opportunity to be role models for their community on this tough subject, and then to watch them swell up with pride. Perhaps I’m naïve, but I truly think some of them took it to heart.
Stop two of the tour was in Bassar. Here we were greeted with our biggest crowd of at least 500 people. The neatest part about Bassar was that, in collaboration with another volunteer’s project, people were able to sign up to receive a free HIV/AIDS test in the near future. Bassar is an area where the stigma seems to be even greater than normal. During the NGO portion of the presentation, they shared that over 50 percent of the people tested in a recent period had tested HIV positive. A week after the game, 61 people had signed up for the free test. Perhaps a small percentage, but still a huge step in the right direction.
The tour then moved on to Tchamba, home of one of our team members. Testing is not available there, therefore the volunteer had arranged to bring testers and counselors from a nearby city, and have people tested for free during the game. He had arranged for 40 free tests, and we were all wondering if even half of those would be used. Needless to say, we were ecstatic to hear that the tests had all been taken within the first hour. Our presentation was also different in Tchamba. Instead of talking to people formally during halftime, we spoke to the kids in their classrooms before the game, and then a local theatre group did a skit during the break. This seemed to be very well received by the approximate 350 people in attendance.
Our final stop was Kara, the regional capital, and the biggest city we hit. Sadly, the publicity for the match was not widely dispersed, thus the match was only watched by about 50 people. Even with this slight disappointment, we had what we described as probably the best target audience. They were nearly all high-school age kids with some really interesting questions for the NGO members. The neatest part was when one of the local players pulled a PCV aside after our part of the presentation. He wanted to privately know if the PCV really had been tested. After responding yes, he continued, asking about whether they had been scared, had gone alone, etc. One could tell he really wanted to get tested, but just needed a little encouragement. He talked about organizing a group of players, and we established that they could get tested for half price. The great part is that we think he will actually do it.
We were also lucky enough to have two very strong female basketball players on our team. Though we never made mention of it, the females watching from the sidelines did. After each game, our ladies would be surrounded by girls who wanted to know how they could play so well. It didn’t hurt that we beat every all-male team.

In closing, we were very pleased with the execution, community reaction, and results of this project. We tried a new format and forum for giving some very valuable information, and felt like we made some advancement. We have had multiple requests for future games and return trips. We think we have uncovered a really neat way to talk to the youth on their level and in an approach that interests them. It sure doesn’t hurt that athletes are so revered in West Africa. For now, we have no future basketball games scheduled, but a soccer game with the same information sharing is on the horizon for a village that can’t just yet field a basketball team. The possibilities are endless. Game on!

Grow yourself a garden

As an SBD volunteer that is often harassed with the name NRM-poser, I have finally found a way to combine these two interests. This year we started a community garden in Guerin-Kouka. A first goal of this project was simply to encourage the community members to grow something besides corn, peanuts and cotton. For those of you that have passed through the GK market, you know that our idea of greens is nothing more than gboma sauce. Sarah and I thought that we would be able to teach some simple improved agricultural techniques, while at the same time showing the community that it is not rocket science nor is it a full-time job to grow a garden. However, as the garden has grown, I have found that, besides offering a lot of fresh produce, it also offers a great opportunity to talk to people about business. People see me selling the vegetables around town and are of course interested to see what I have for sale and how much I am selling it for. I take this opportunity to ask them why they haven’t before grown a garden. When they can’t give me a good enough reason, I attempt to seal the deal with the word that will catch more peoples’ ears than any other in this country – money. I start by asking them what resources it takes to start a garden. When it comes down to simply the price of the seeds, I start talking to them about the amount of money we have already netted from the sale of the produce. When I can show proof that in only the first harvest of lettuce, we have made over 3 mille, they really start to take notice. In the process of all this harvesting and selling, I have been noting all of the expenses and the sales in a cahier. I want to have it done in a very simple manner that will easier shown the profits made from each crop. The next step in our plan is to set up a produce stand in the evenings. While selling, we will also have our cahier on display and explain to interested people what steps we have taken and how we have gone about the process. Our hope is that we will be able to encourage some people to try gardening for a profit and others to simply try a few new crops in their concessions. Also in the future, we want to teach people how to dry and preserve the seeds of the crops, therein taking away from them another excuse that they might have next season. This way they will be able to start their own gardens with absolutely no expense.

Having a ball - sustainably

After the recent construction of a basketball court in Guerin-Kouka, one of the main problems was the lack of basketballs with which the kids could play. Multiple times, balls were bought or donated, only to see them handed off to the kids and destroyed within the week. The other alternative was to guard the balls at the volunteers’ houses, thus making it always necessary for us to be involved every time someone wanted to practice. Both of these options were anything but sustainable. However, with a great bit of insight from Ms Wendy Dixon, a new and (and at least up to this point) sustainable system was born. There is an auberge near the basketball court. Since there are always people there working, we thought this might be a good option as a ball distribution point. As an experiment, we took two of the remaining balls and left them there for rent. The balls can be rented during the daytime hours for 25CFA with a 25CFA deposit that is returned if all the rules are followed. The balls are not allowed to be taken anywhere but to the court and back. Also, the person renting the ball must sign a cahier stating they understand the rules, creating a system of accountability. We explained the system to the basketball players, stressing that the 25CFA they would be paying would act as a cotisation, ensuring that when the balls wore out, we would be able to buy new ones from the fund. They seemed to grasp the concept and even encouraged me to raise the amount to 50CFA. Up to this point, the system seems to be working well and the balls are rented at least once every day. Time will tell if the 25CFA will be enough but the best part of the system is seeing the kids comprehend why they are paying it. As volunteers, I know many times we are seen as a source of nice sports equipment with people always asking to borrow it. Perhaps next time, consider trying this simple system and teach the kids a lesson at the same time.